Our Collective Methods for Dealing with Intense Emotions

Emotion Series
Our Collective Methods for Dealing with Intense Emotions

Below is a summary of our collective methods in dealing with intense emotions during fellowship. We’ve grouped them into categories.

In general, you can start dealing with your intense emotions by (1) calming yourself. (2) Then, you could think of quick and accessible ways to self-­soothe. If you have problem soothing yourself, (3) you might want to distract yourself from harmful/unhealthy thoughts. During this process, you’ll need (4) social support, and (5) spiritual support. Try not to (6) suppress your emotions, as it is not good for you in the long run. Instead, try to (7) express or release your emotions in a safe way. Once you’re calm and in control of your emotions, you might want to (8) do some self­-reflections to understand yourself, your emotional triggers, and to manage your emotions in a better way next time.

Calm down/ Cool it off:

• Walk away to cool it off (4)
• Take deep breath (3) Immediately calm your aroused physiology, allow yourself a few minutes to do this & be mindful of your breathing.
• Go outdoor (4)
• Be alone & have some quiet time (5)

Self‐soothe:

When thinking about ways to self‐soothe, you could explore with what’s pleasant to your 5
senses (taste, touch, see, hear, smell); we have a few nice ones down.

• Take deep breath (3)
• Laugh (3)
• Sing (2)
• Listen to music
• Take a bath (2)
• Cook (2)
• Watch TV (5)
• Play games (5)
• Eat & drink (9)
• Shop (4)
• Travel
• Read (2)
• Think positive

Distract yourself:

The following ways are all ok as long as you don’t overdo it.  Moreover, remember that distracting yourself won’t help you solve your problems. When you’re more calm, you need to reflect on why certain things are such an emotional trigger to you, and how you could be no longer bothered by it next time (talk to someone or a professional if you have difficulty doing self‐reflections)

• Workout/sports (8)
• Sing (2)
• Cook (2)
• Go outdoor (4)
• Do chores (3)
• Watch TV (5)
• Play games (5)
• Eat & drink (9) 
• Shop (4)
• Read (2)
• Focus on work
• Distract yourself with other stuff (5)

Social support:

• Talk to someone (23)This is really healthy, remember to find someone you can trust/understands. If you can’t find this person among your friends, go talk to a mentor/pastor/counselor/other mental health professional (hey, you don’t need to be crazy or in big trouble to talk to a spiritual mentor/mental health professionals)
• Hug someone (2)

Spiritual support:

• Pray (13)
• Talk to someone (23)

Suppressing emotions:

You might feel ok in the short term. However, not thinking about the issue or suppressing your emotions would only accumulated your dissatisfaction, and you might explode uncontrollably one day.

• Sleep (10)
• Keep quiet
• Focus on work
• Ignore it
• Hold it in (2)
• Think positive

Express/releasing the emotions:

Expressing or releasing your emotions is good for you. However, remember to do it in a safe
environment and in a non‐regrettable manner.

• Talk to someone (23)
• Workout/sports (8)
• Cry (5)
• Sing (2)
• Write down feelings, thoughts & experience (2)
• Swear (Be careful with swearing or venting, you might create a bigger problem or escalate an already bad situation)
• Vent

Self‐reflection:

When you are calm, it is always good to do some self‐reflections to understand yourself more and to prevent further emotional outbursts.

• Be alone & have some quiet time (5)
• Write down feelings, thoughts & experience (2)
• Reflect, understand why I have those emotions (2)
• Think positive
• Think from other’s perspective
• Talk to someone (23)